Just me

Honestly you can't get more real than my first post. 

The only difference between Rosie and me is our names and fears.

 

Rosie's not afraid of sharing thoughts and feelings because no one knows her. 

She's my mask. 

She's a wall for me to hide behind. 

She's just a name. 

I, on the other hand, am someone who fears opening up. It's so easy to let "Rosie" do the talking because she's more confident. 

I'm scared of disappointment.

I'm scared of falling down. 

I'm scared of failing Rosie.

I'm scared of failing Rosie even though I feel like I already have. I promised things to my blog, and I didn't keep those promises.

Rosie was great to hide behind because she's a simple and unique person. She was, in some ways, a mixture of me and the experiences that have influenced me in my life.

In reality though, Rosie's hard to hide behind because she makes it hard to be me.

I like being me, just Hollie. Just the confused and excited girl who's graduating from high school. 

Remembering

I remember him taking me in his arms and telling me nothing would ever hurt me. EVER. He'd rock me back and forth until I fell asleep. I remember the lonely nights. Mom would chill my blanket outside because that's how I liked it, then she'd sing softly to me.

I remember wishing on dandelions. The full ones were my favorite.

I remember playing games and trading Pokemon  cards with my brother. I'd never play Zelda with him, but I never got tired of watching.

I remember Daddy's and doughnuts. I would bring my grandpa, and the cinnamon sugar ones were my favorite.

I remember the first day I met my sisters. I was wearing cheetah print sunglasses that were too big for my face, and an old Michigan T-shirt with a green fish on it. My sister Natalie was three at the time. She was terrified of me.

I remember when having a crush was a big deal. Boys didn't break hearts, and kisses were chocolate.

I remember telling everyone I knew that I had a big mouth because I thought it was an honor.

I remember thinking I was cool. I was the best singer, writer, pianist, and reading poems was easy for me because my poems were beautiful.
I remember wanting to grow up. My big brother was my hero, and I wanted to be just like him.

I remember fires with my family.We'd roast grapes and star-bursts. My sister would wear her cat in the hat sweat shirt, and we'd sing songs all night. 

I remember the first time a boy kissed me, I hated it. First kisses were suppose to be at the perfect time, with the perfect guy, in the perfect place. I remember promising myself I would NEVER do that again

I remember the first time I went on a date. I was wearing a blue and white striped shirt with a mustard cardigan. My hair was pulled back in curls, and I was terrified. What if I make things awkward? What if I mess up? What if he tries to kiss me?

I remember old Christmas's with my family. I'd watch the Muppet's Christmas Carol with my sister until midnight, and then wake up early to watch a Christmas Story with the rest of my family. We'd go through our stockings before our parents woke up, the smell of cinnamon wafted from the pine-cones in the tree.

I remember when Justin Timberlake was going to marry me. 

I remember a lot, but sadly not everything.

Blackout Poetry

Bachelors out there, among other rising players, have taken dreams of lips for promoting a group of unique single guys. They are charismatic, they are fun-loving.

How To Be Me

“Sometimes I feel as though there are two me's, one coasting directly on top of the other: the superficial me, who nods when she's supposed to nod and says what she's supposed to say, and some other, deeper part, the part that worries and dreams... Most of the time they move along in sync and I hardly notice the split, but sometimes it feels as though I'm two whole different people and I could rip apart at any second.” ~Lauren Oliver, Delirium

 
I love things simple. Simple clothes. Simple outfits. Simple dates. You get the point, I'm just a really simple person.

I'm not scared of really anything. Spiders are the absolute worst, and to me it's hard to find anything scarier than that. I guess I don't really watch scary movies though, so go ahead and add that onto my list of fears!


Writing is one of my favorite things to do, but I'm not very good at it, so I usually just keep it to my journal.

Everyone has a tendency to think I'm shy, but trust me when I say that's not true at all. The only time I'm ever really quiet is when I'm in class, besides that though I swear I don't know how to shut up. People who hang out with me learn very quickly that I never really run out of things to talk about. 

I love being outside. If I have the choice to sit inside or being outside hiking, I'll chose hiking any day! It's just so pretty outside, and just perfect.

The piano is probably my favorite thing in the whole world. I love how I can just sit down and play my heart out and not worry about the rest of the world. It's seriously one of the most beautiful things I can think about.

Blues my favorite color, and I have blue eyes, so that's something to be happy about.

I. LOVE. READING. If I could spend an entire day reading, I would not complain.

Long phone calls that are hard to end are simply the best. 

I hate mayonnaise, mustard, unmade beds, messy rooms/kitchens, when people say the word "like" fifty times in one sentence, boys, when people say "your" when they're suppose to say "you're," people who think they know everything, when people spell my name wrong, etc. 


My favorite animal is a dolphin.

I love getting caught in the rain, wearing over-sized sweaters, scotcharu's, Gatorade, watching chick-flicks, laughing even though I have the worst laugh, smiling, shopping(even though I don't like spending money?), boys, building snowmen, singing/playing piano, etc.

That's just a little bit of what it takes to be me!

XOXO

~Rosie

Lonely chairs

  Waiting for someone to come push me

  Waiting for someone to be real with me

  Wishing someone knew how to find me

   Longing for someone to remember I'm        

               waiting here, alone

    Lost in the woods, never to be found

I Hate Being Jealous, But I Can't Help It!

Truth is I'm jealous of Jacky O'.

Her posts are just so real and perfect!

Basically everything I can't make MY posts.

The overall appearance of the kissing drafts blog is adorable.

It makes me kind of hate my blog to be honest. 

There's not been one post she's written that I hate.

I just can't believe how much they relate to me.

Her words are always beautiful, and they make me think about everything.

Life.

Death.

Love.

Me.

Etc.

I don't know how she does it, but she's amazing!!!!

PPPLLLEEEAASSEEE check out her blog if you haven't done so already!

XOXO,

Rosie

Waves of Water

When I look at water, all I can think about is its perfection. It doesn't have to listen to anyone or take crap from the stupid people around it. It just chills and flows on!

The waves seem to go wherever they want. Some follow the wind as its soothing voice beckons them to come with it. Some decide to head on back to shore and kiss the sand. Some swirl in the middle and let life makes its own course through them.

I guess you could say that living the wave life would be simply perfect and calm.

They get to just sit back and relax. Waters' daily agenda consists of going with the flow, soaking up the sun, and listening to the quiet sounds of nature. 

Water doesn't have to go to school and learn about why the cube root of 6,956,345 is going to be important someday! In fact, does water even NEED math? 

Probably not...

Maybe it likes to count the drops the hit it during the rainstorm, or how long it takes to flow to the ocean.

If you had a bunch of ugly people in your face everyday, wouldn't you want to count how many you see? 

Water never stops. When life gets choppy, it smooth’s out it's problems and keeps going, never looking back. 

It never gives up!

I'd Appreciate It If You Didn't Judge Me! #kthanksbye

Truth is I love singing, especially loud and off key with the windows rolled up in my car. However if the windows are rolled down, I basically sing in a whisper to make sure no one can hear me.

WELL this past Saturday I got stuck in traffic on the freeway because there was a terrible accident. Usually I hate life when I got caught up in that, but this time was different. I was like “Hey, maybe I should roll down the windows and sing at the top of my lungs…yeah, that’s a great idea!!”

So naturally I did that.

Too bad I was driving in an ugly car...

I blasted the music in my car and just went crazy singing and dancing! All the drivers around me probably thought I was having a seizure, but it was fun…SOOO I don’t really care.

Some people stuck beside me would go along with it and rock out with me, but for the most part I just got death glares and confused looks from people. All I could think was no I’m not psycho, yes I’m having a little too much fun, don’t judge me!!

The traffic stopped and it was kind of sad because I couldn’t annoy or party with anybody anymore.

I don’t care if I drove everyone in traffic insane, it was fun and worth it. Guess you could say I'm a natural risk taker now!!!!

XOXO,

Rosie

Let's Just Be Realistic Here

No one really likes to read a story with a sad ending right? Everyone wants to see the hero make it to the top and have a happy life.

If there’s not a “Happily Ever After” in the story, why read it?

Examples: Mockingjay and Allegiant

 People don’t like them because they’re realistic. They remind people that even in stories, life’s not perfect.

I think that’s stupid though.

The authors are just being honest in these stories though, WHICH I LOVE. They’re not trying to sugar coat anything at all, they’re just trying to help readers see things as they really are.

Happy endings wouldn’t have made sense for either of these books.

I’m not trying to suggest that ending the stories on a happier note would have disappointed me. I mean seriously, I cried like a baby at the end of Allegiant! Having a happy ending would have made reading it a lot easier! However, I just like how it’s real. There’s no faking the emotions that came with it!

If Allegiant or Mockingjay were to have ended differently, they would have been more like fairytales because it’s not how life really is.

I’m not going to get into the end of both books because I know that lots of people still haven’t read them, but I like them…no matter what anyone else says. These kinds of books are tragic in a beautiful way, and I love it.

XOXO,

~Rosie

Bucket List

I dream of going to Australia someday, but the spiders there keep me from that.

Be on the amazing race

Swim with/see a dolphin because it’s my favorite animal

Kiss and dance in the rain

Marry someone who will be a best friend to me

Graduate from college and teach

Write a book

Have courage to sing and play the piano in front of people

I want to go on survivor, but once again the spiders freak me out

Go repelling

Learn to surf

Hawaii looks really pretty, so I want to go there

Meet the whole Harry Potter cast

Spend a day with Jennifer Lawrence

Actually get muscles so I'm not seen as a weakling anymore

Go all over Europe

Visit the Harry Potter studio in London

Run a 1/2 marathon

Get good grades in college

Raft down rapids

Ride the biggest roller-coaster in the world

Spend an entire day reading

Have a Harry Potter marathon in one day

My Hero

To: A simple hero
From:  Someone who cares

I talk to you sometimes when I'm alone, did you know that? I like to think about what things would be like if you were here, sitting in the grass next to me. You'd probably be absorbing the beauty and trying to make sense of the colors all around us. I can hear you explaining your thoughts to me because I'm not one to notice the beauty in things on my own, the thought's almost funny to me. Why question beauty when there are other things to stress about in the world like why people come and go in life?

You're different.

Seconds aren't ever wasted in your world. Memories are created whenever you get the chance to make them, so moments aren't blown away and forgotten. I imagine you're painting sunsets and blue skies now, giving people left behind a sense of peace through beauty. Giving them a picture to store memories in. It's calming to me, and it makes me think. Thank you.

You give me hope and a reason to smile.

Even though tears come and go on your behalf, visioning you in the back of my mind brings a smile to my face; why cry when there's so much to be happy for? When I use to cry though, you didn't care. You would just wrap your arms around me to keep the world around us out. I was your little girl, and you wouldn't let anything harm me.

 Selfless. That's what you were. 

Taking care of people and bringing laughter to their lives was your forte. Everywhere you went emotions of happiness and excitement were left behind.

Then things changed.

Even though challenges came, you lifted your head and kept smiling. Overall appearance changed for you, but you didn't care. As long as everyone around you was safe, you were happy. Time ticked by, but you held on with every last breath, keeping your head held high. You stayed true to yourself until the end, until it was over and you had to go.

Now I'm here, lying in the grass and smiling as the wind gently kisses my skin. I'm smiling because I'm thinking of you. I think of you a lot you know. You're someone I never want to forget, and I never will. When memories course their way through my mind, I'll accept them graciously. 

Hero. That's what you are to me, and I'll love you forever.

Books...or Movies

QUESTION: Would you rather have to get rid of books and only have movies, or get rid of movies and only have books?

For me this isn't a tough question at all; I can't live without books! 

Personally, keeping books means holding onto movies as well because when I read it's like I'm actually watching a movie. I get so attached to the characters I read about, and I feel like I can really relate to them!

However, when I watch movies, I don't get as involved with the characters. Don't get me wrong I love movies, but it's harder to relate to the people because you're not imagining them yourself and feeling the emotion.

Reading is the perfect way to see the characters development and experience things with them. THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS WITH MOVIES. It's easy to you know the people on the screen, but do you really? #probablynot! 

Every living thing I come across when I read becomes a part of me! It's like the main people in my books become family to me; I can't lose them. Endings are my least favorite and favorite parts. It's bittersweet for me because ends are usually amazing, but they also mean it's time to move on. It's time to find a new book to read. It's time to get to know new characters.

Movies aren't very long, so it's hard to grow attached to those who make it what it is.

XOXO

~Rosie

I Ain't Scurred!!!

"Fear of a name increases fear of a thing itself"~Hermione Granger

Truth is everything scares me...but spiders probably scare me the most. Even typing about them right now is freaking me out! I'm scared of the fact that they're always around me. I hate how they have so many eyes and legs. They seem to find me when I'm most vulnerable. Can I just not talk about this now? It's freaking me out!

I'm scared of being left alone. I've never seen I am legend, but the thought of being the only life form left on earth freaks me out! Thinking about having no one to talk or cry to ever again makes me feel empty. When people leave me for more than a week it's like they're leaving me forever. Imagining that forever actually taking place just leaves a bottomless pit in my stomach!

I DON'T WANT TO BE LEFT BEHIND!

Blogging is terrifying! It's easy for me to look through things I post and feel satisfied, but what does everyone else think? Do I sound dark? Do I let too much of my personality come out? Do I post to much, or not enough? Is my blog to dull? Seriously, it's so stressful and horrifying to me! I'm still trying to figure out why I let myself do this...

Life freaks me out to the max! Like where am I going to go from here? It's almost like once I graduate, I'm officially on my own! No more relying on mommy and daddy to help me make choices. No more just talking things through with teachers to get my grades up. And no more talking to the kids I've grown up with. It's so scary to think that I'll be a completely different person with new experiences in a year from now!

I'm scared of finishing things, like this blog post. That's why I'm just going to leave it here and like myself freak out about it later!

XOXO

~Rosie

Here Comes The Sun

“Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.”~Albus Dumbledore 

I just really seem to love the sounds of being outside. I don't know if it's the cars passing by, airplanes flying around in the sky, or the simple sound of birds chirping away; it's all so peaceful and beautiful too! 

     How could I not be happy when the suns coming out?

With the sun beating down and blue blue sky up above, everything's perfect. I don't have the annoying sound of people ALL AROUND ME, and I can be in my own little world! 

It's almost like nature knows how to actually speak to you. It whispers to you through soft currents of the ever blowing wind as it wisps on by. 

When nature is angry, however, I'm still happy. It lets you know it's unhappy by sending in thunder.

If nature feels a little heartbroken, it cries the pain away with gentle drips of rain. For some this brings feelings of longing and sadness, but to me it's calming and beautiful. The gentle touch of rain on my skin seems to take away pains of the past; it's just me and the rain alone.

To make sure everyone's day is lightened, the sun comes out. It seems to take away every care in the world. It brings happiness to everyone, and gives a sense of hope as well. 

There's no need to be sad when the sun's in the sky!

 

Divergent Bricks

THINGS TO BE DONE WITH BRICKS:

1. Melt crayons through the rough edges 
2. Make house
3. Paint it
4. Crush food
5. Paint them orange so MUNCHKINS SHUT UP ABOUT THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD!!!!
6. Chuck it at a wall
7. Break a window
8. Revenge on someone who crushed you
9. Brutal back scratcher
10. Pencil/pen holder
11. Weight
12. Make a chair
13. Make a fire pit so you can roast mallows!
14. Grind it up and make sand for a sandbox
15. Write promises on it to make a promise
16. Put it on your shoulder instead of boombox
17. Knock your teacher out (NO MORE LEARNING)
18. Make a wall
19. Grate cheese
20. Lose a tooth
21. Knock yourself out (IF YOU'RE CRAZY)
22. Fry an egg
23. Anchor
24. Get you thinking
25. Just to stare at
26. Hide what's inside
27. MODEL
28. Prepare a model to model
29. Test tube holder 
30. BEING CREATIVE
31. Knock a cat off a fence
32. Put it on the gas pedal in a car so it will drive itself off a cliff
33. Put a letter in it and throw it 
34. Stand
35.  Analogy for burdens
36. Build a bridge
37. Scare fish
38. See how high you can stack them
39. Make music
40. Tape them to the bottom of your shoes to make you look taller

Hey 90's Kids!!!

                                                                  

Different: A Twist in Time

July 18, 2013- Falling. That was all she felt. Not forward, but backward. All that emotion she'd built up seemed to taunt her. She thought she'd found him, he was hers for the taking. But she was wrong. Love like that was only meant for fairy tales and "Once Upon a Time." The taste of love to her was bitter, it had a scent of hurt and forgetfulness. Reality had played it's way back into the shallow hole that seemed to be her heart. Life had mocked her once again, and for that she hated it.


 June 28, 2013- Happiness seemed to be slipping from her. Being with Jake was getting harder and harder; life just wouldn't stay out of the way. Lucy found herself fighting for moments to see him, but her attempts were useless. This wasn't how things were suppose to be. No no, this was all meant to be easy. They meet, fall in love, have so much time it's as if the earth stopped moving. The battle for an inch in his life was not part of her exotic romance story she'd thought up at all, and it wasn't welcomed graciously.

 May 16, 2013- Perfection. That was the only word to describe her feelings. No longer did Lucy have to hide behind her wall of emotions; she was free. Long walks on the beach, fingers laced together, and talking for hours on end. This was her new life with him, and she didn't seem to have a care in the world. Everything was right.

April 26, 2013- No words. No words could describe how she felt the day he said he cared for her too. Was this real, or was this just another fantasy a fingertip away from reality? She didn't care. All she knew is that moment right there she'd fallen for him, and there was absolutely no turning back.

 March 20, 2013- There's no way this could really be happening. This "friendship" she'd made up in her mind seemed almost surreal. She didn't want it that way. Lucy was so blinded by her "promises of friendship" that she failed to notice the lie within her own words. She was falling for him, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.


February 23, 2013- No longer was Lucy going on dates with any other boys. Jake. He was everything to her. Other boys and heart breaks didn't seem to matter when she was with him. Being herself was easy. Messing up and falling weren't fears anymore. The thought had actually become somewhat of a joke to her. She knew nothing could every ruin this!


 January 14, 2013- Friends, that's all they were. Two best friends that did EVERYTHING together. No chemistry at all. She'd tell him everything, and in return he'd be someone who was just there for her. The thought of them even falling for each other was repulsive, couldn't be possible. Love was meant for the lonely, right?

December 17, 2012- Lucy wasn't sure if Jake was interested in her, or if she even liked him! All she knew is that from the moment he said hello, she could tell there was something different about him. Something different that made her feel alive and happy again. No guy had ever made her feel that way before. Ever.

Love, What Is It?

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
~Marilyn Monroe 

To me, love is something that is overused...so I don't understand it at all.  Maybe I'm crazy, but I think that love is something that is suppose to last for awhile. The stupid thing about that though is you hear kids in middle school and high school saying that they're in love with some person they've talked to once. Can I just say GET A LIFE to them? Is that too mean? #kthanksbye

But for reals though, what really is love? Is love really what we hear about in fairy tales, or is that just lust? In all those Disney movies, they make love seem so simple and easy. The girl meets the guy and then suddenly they're singing and head over heals in love. I really don't think that's how it works though. Maybe I'm just being negative here, but I think that love is something that happens over a period of time, and it's AFTER YOU REALLY LEARN TO CARE FOR THE OTHER PERSON. 

Love to me is talking for hours, and having a hard time ending a conversation with goodbye because you don't want the moment to end. Love is smiling and laughing with no reason at all, and just feeling joy. Every girl wants to find a guy, make him their best friend, and then fall in love and live happily ever after. I think that if you're really in love, you'll be with your best friend whether they have been forever, or you just noticed the more you were with them! You feel me? 

Cute Love:

• Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter
• Old people that have been together forever
• NOT ROMEO AND JULIET, they make me sick
• Jenna Rink and Matt Flamhaff- 13 going on 30
• Elizabeth and David- Just Like Heaven
• Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley- Harry Potter
• Isi and Prince Geric- Goose Girl

Buuut Why??

Why do we all stress so much over our blogs?

Why does it matter how we dress?

Why do I care so much about who's reading my blog?

BUT WHY DO WE CARE ABOUT  WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK

Why are movies so entertaining?

Why are there so many, songs about rainbows?

Why can't school and work be EASIER?

BUT WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE COMPLICATED?

Why can't EVERYTHING be easier?

Why am I doing this instead of eating right now?

Why am I thinking so hard about these questions?

WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN?

Fallen

“She wasnt exactly sure when it happened. Or even when it started. All she knew for sure was that right here and now, she was falling hard and she could only pray that he was feeling the same way.” ~Nicholas Sparks, Safe Haven 

I really don't know why I let it happen; I let myself fall for you. Now I don't mean I had a little girly crush, I mean I fell for you hard. 

I trusted you, but you let me down.

Now you're saying "let's be friends still though, we can work it out." Heard it before. So tempting, but no. 

But thanks for the heart break.

Thanks for the pain.

Thanks for thinking everything will go back to normal.

And thanks for making me love you, I really appreciate it. You're a real pal!

To be honest though, I really will miss you. Not enough to let you walk all over me again, but enough to let memories flow through my brain again. That's about all I need. And to be real here, I should be thanking you. I should be thanking you for giving me a reason to be angry, and giving me a reason to move on. 

You pushed me to a point where I know I won't make the same mistake because I don't want to find myself in the fallen state of bitterness. So thank you for saving me in the future. I won't let this happen again.