Just me

Honestly you can't get more real than my first post. 

The only difference between Rosie and me is our names and fears.

 

Rosie's not afraid of sharing thoughts and feelings because no one knows her. 

She's my mask. 

She's a wall for me to hide behind. 

She's just a name. 

I, on the other hand, am someone who fears opening up. It's so easy to let "Rosie" do the talking because she's more confident. 

I'm scared of disappointment.

I'm scared of falling down. 

I'm scared of failing Rosie.

I'm scared of failing Rosie even though I feel like I already have. I promised things to my blog, and I didn't keep those promises.

Rosie was great to hide behind because she's a simple and unique person. She was, in some ways, a mixture of me and the experiences that have influenced me in my life.

In reality though, Rosie's hard to hide behind because she makes it hard to be me.

I like being me, just Hollie. Just the confused and excited girl who's graduating from high school. 

Remembering

I remember him taking me in his arms and telling me nothing would ever hurt me. EVER. He'd rock me back and forth until I fell asleep. I remember the lonely nights. Mom would chill my blanket outside because that's how I liked it, then she'd sing softly to me.

I remember wishing on dandelions. The full ones were my favorite.

I remember playing games and trading Pokemon  cards with my brother. I'd never play Zelda with him, but I never got tired of watching.

I remember Daddy's and doughnuts. I would bring my grandpa, and the cinnamon sugar ones were my favorite.

I remember the first day I met my sisters. I was wearing cheetah print sunglasses that were too big for my face, and an old Michigan T-shirt with a green fish on it. My sister Natalie was three at the time. She was terrified of me.

I remember when having a crush was a big deal. Boys didn't break hearts, and kisses were chocolate.

I remember telling everyone I knew that I had a big mouth because I thought it was an honor.

I remember thinking I was cool. I was the best singer, writer, pianist, and reading poems was easy for me because my poems were beautiful.
I remember wanting to grow up. My big brother was my hero, and I wanted to be just like him.

I remember fires with my family.We'd roast grapes and star-bursts. My sister would wear her cat in the hat sweat shirt, and we'd sing songs all night. 

I remember the first time a boy kissed me, I hated it. First kisses were suppose to be at the perfect time, with the perfect guy, in the perfect place. I remember promising myself I would NEVER do that again

I remember the first time I went on a date. I was wearing a blue and white striped shirt with a mustard cardigan. My hair was pulled back in curls, and I was terrified. What if I make things awkward? What if I mess up? What if he tries to kiss me?

I remember old Christmas's with my family. I'd watch the Muppet's Christmas Carol with my sister until midnight, and then wake up early to watch a Christmas Story with the rest of my family. We'd go through our stockings before our parents woke up, the smell of cinnamon wafted from the pine-cones in the tree.

I remember when Justin Timberlake was going to marry me. 

I remember a lot, but sadly not everything.

Blackout Poetry

Bachelors out there, among other rising players, have taken dreams of lips for promoting a group of unique single guys. They are charismatic, they are fun-loving.